I’m continually amazed by the power of living from the inside-out – knowing that the only thing I can feel is thought in the moment. One of the things that’s been hitting me lately is realizing how powerfully this awareness affects our consciousness, and how much our consciousness affects other people and the world.
Here’s an example from one of my clients, Heidi, who is also partnering with me in offering the Take the Lead: Women Awakening to Leadership programs. Heidi is an amazing executive coach and expert in the field of leadership. While she’s a master at negotiating relationships, she kept running into difficulty and conflict with a woman, whom I shall call Cheryl, who was part of a team Heidi was coaching. Heidi couldn’t understand why every time they talked it appeared as though this woman was challenging her and even attacking her. It was taking a lot of her time and energy and going nowhere.
Looked at paradigmatically, Heidi realized she was in a mixed paradigm – when she thought about Cheryl, it looked to her like her feelings were coming from Cheryl, and then she kept strategizing ways to get it right with her. No matter what Heidi tried, it didn’t work, and she kept having one extremely unpleasant encounter after another with her.
Once Heidi got inside-out about Cheryl – realized, that is, that her feelings were coming from her thoughts about her, not from Cheryl herself – Heidi’s head cleared. She found herself communicating with Cheryl in a way unlike any she had before. While before, she would have said things like……”Well, we appreciate you sharing your POV, but the group has moved on to other concerns that we’d like you to support…” this time she said: “I really do value your willingness to speak up and make sure we are on the right track… and I really appreciate our conversations, though they are sometimes difficult for me, and hope that they will allow us to work better together, and be better team leaders together going forward.”
The response Heidi got back from Cheryl literally blew her mind. It was completely open in tone and substance. Cheryl acknowledged their new understanding and shared commitment. She also confided that the relationship had been difficult for her as well and that she now looked forward to working together for the good of the team.
For Heidi, this was a remarkable example of the power of the inside-out paradigm. All Heidi did, she said, was get inside-out about Cheryl – and then it was as if the rest happened on its own. She’s still amazed at the shift that happened in their relationship.
When we go inside-out about life, it creates a major shift in our consciousness, which not only impacts us, but others, and our relationships with others. It’s exciting to think about what will happen when this gets in the hands of more leaders.