I had the honor of doing a four day intensive with Annika in January of 2008. My sister had success through working with Annika and she strongly suggested that I go to do an intensive.
I had been extremely depressed that previous year due to an impending breakup and couldn’t seem to lift myself out of it. I’m not one to ask for help. I thought that I had enough tools in my bag of coping mechanisms that I could handle this. But when I found myself thinking of suicide as a logical option—I finally called Annika. I was physically and mentally worn out when I arrived in Washington. I was very overweight as I was using food to medicate my feelings of loneliness and fear.
I stayed for the 4 days and learned so much about myself.
One of my biggest insights was how much I judge my emotions. Fear is a huge one for me. When I felt fear, I was so busy freaking out about feeling fearful that I would then do anything to avoid the emotion—eat some cookies, call someone etc.. Now, through learning the principles, I have so much more awareness. I realize that I’m often frightened, and pretty soon that it’s only Thought that makes me feel this way, and thoughts are changing all the time. Just seeing this has helped so much. I am much more accepting of all my emotional states. AND they do pass more quickly now and I return to my normal state of feeling good.
Emotionally and spiritually I am on a much more even keel. I have my ups and downs but the roller coaster ride is done. I trust when I am in a dark place that it will pass and it always does. The principles taught me to make friends with the unknown. I feel a strength and confidence in myself that resonates with me, Whereas before, anxiety and fear ruled me.
What appealed to me the most about working with and learning from Annika is that she is teaching us to learn from our own wisdom and insights. She teaches us to look inside for the answers and to trust that we know the answers. I felt very empowered by the principles that she taught me.
Physically, I am much improved. I have lost 55 pounds since the intensive in 2008. I feel amazing and enjoy high energy.
How can I get to a place of being okay with fear and shame? I’m okay with anger and sadness I know they are illusionary thoughts. I’ll just remember that shame and fear are rooted in illusionary thoughts and when I get good with them, they won’t have a hold on me.
I have a visual of my fear and shame being behind a brick wall around the corner of it hiding and I am practiced at pretending it’s not there. I want to get good at acknowledging its presence and seeing what is. Pretending it’s not there doesn’t work! When I acknowledge it/it melts away.